‘She doesn’t want to celebrate your wedding, she wants Hawaii’: Entitled sister demands her family of 5 get to go on all-expenses paid destination wedding even though she originally RSVP'd ‘No’ when the wedding was local

Author image for Elna McHilderson
Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Apr 1, 2023 11:00 PM EDT

Family drama comes in all shapes and sizes. It can definitely and is likely to be drudged up during a family member's weddings. For example, this woman one's story on Reddit. 

She posted to the subreddit r/AmItheA**hole (AITA) about her entitled sister. Originally, the poster and her fiancé planned a large wedding in the country, only a few hours drive from where the poster's sister lived. They saved up a good chunk of change to throw a huge extravagant wedding and celebrate with everyone. However, only 14 people RSVP'd yes, her sister was not one of them. In fact, the poster's sister said it was just too much of an inconvenience. The wedding was during the summer, which is a bad time for the poster's sister and her husband since they work in landscaping. Plus, it is a 3-hour drive and she has three little kids and it would just be too difficult to make that drive with them. 

So the poster and her fiancé were way under budget with such a small turnout. They decided to scrap the close-by country wedding and splurge for an all-expenses-paid destination wedding in Hawaii. They planned a beautiful wedding on the beach for them and their 14 guest and a few days of activities for them all to participate it. It was sure to be a great time. 

All of a sudden, the entitled sister is outraged and demands that her and her family of 5 get invited to the Hawaiian wedding… Even though all the original reason as to why she couldn't make the wedding in the first place are still very much in place, if not tenfold. The sister said it was at a bad time for work, and yet this is during the same time and now it's several days instead of one big day. And the sister said the 3-hour drive was too much to travel with her children, but now she is fine with a 9-hour plane ride?? It's not adding up, sister…

Read the entire family wedding drama below! 

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  • 01
    Plant - Posted by u/One_Ambassador_2316 18 hours ago AITA for not reinviting my sister and her family to my wedding after we changed it?
    via u/flickr-Ewen-Roberts
  • 02
    Font - My fiancé and I planned to have a large wedding in July at a venue in the country. I guess that was too out of the way for most people because only 14 people rsvp-ed that they were coming. We had already set aside money for our wedding and since there was no longer going to be a lot of people coming we decided to splurge.
    via u/One_Ambassador_2316
  • 03
    Font - So, we asked everyone who rsvp-ed that they were coming if they could take a few extra days off for a longer trip to Hawaii all expenses paid by us. Everyone said yes, so we started booking tickets and suites at this nice resort. We also planned some fun things to do while we're there. Everyone is very excited for the trip.
    via u/One_Ambassador_2316
  • 04
    Font - Now my sister, who rsvp-ed that she and her family weren't coming, is upset that I didn't reinvite her when we changed plans. She thinks that since it's basically a different trip they should have been told. Originally she said she couldn't come to our wedding because that time of the year is very difficult for her and her husband because the summer is the busiest time for their business. They have a landscaping
    via u/One_Ambassador_2316
  • 05
    Font - business. Also she said traveling that far with all her kids would be difficult because of the long car ride. It would have been around a 3 hour drive from where she lives. So it doesn't make any sense to me for her to say she can go on a longer trip even farther away. The plane trip is almost 9 hours long. Also she says it's unfair because our brother and his family gets to go while hers doesn't. That's making her kids feel left out because their cousins are going and my sister says it's
    via u/One_Ambassador_2316
  • 06
    Font - My sister and her family would be five more people so even if we wanted to reinvite them they would cause us to go way over budget. The only other option would be to drastically downgrade the trip we already promised everyone. it just seems totally unfair to everyone else, but my sister also thinks I'm being unfair and says we pulled a "reverse bait and switch".
    via u/One_Ambassador_2316
  • 07
    Font - claireclairey 18 hr. ago Supreme Court Just-ass [112] NTA. She doesn't want to celebrate your wedding, she wants Hawaii. She can pay for that herself.
    via u/claireclairey
  • 08
    Font - crystallz2000 16 hr. ago Partassipant [1] This 100%. OP, she wants a free trip. Too bad. Just tell her, "I'm sorry you feel that way, but is your busy season suddenly less busy? Can your kids suddenly handle a longer trip? You told me those were your reasons for not coming, and those reasons haven't changed, so let's move on." If she keeps pushing, let her know that your budget is maxed out, but you'd never stop her from coming! They'll just have to pay for themselves! Now the whole famil
    via u/crystallz2000
  • 09
    Font - AncientTaxJudgment. 5 hr. ago Here's the test: "Oh! You can come now? We would love that! We will switch back to the (country venue). Let me know when you will arrive!"
    via u/AncientTaxJudgment
  • 10
    Font - Reddit MiniMinion - 8 hr. ago that's exactly how I would handle this situation if I were in OP's position. Suddenly the agenda is WIIIIDE open for sister and family lol. how bizarre.... roll eyes.
    via u/RedditMiniMinion
  • 11
    Font - Infamous_Abrocoma_97 5 hr. ago Totally agree. And if she really wants to go on the trip, she's more than welcome to book tickets and make hotel reservations on her own. She just wants the free trip. Sucks for her
    via u/Infamous_Abrocoma_97
  • 12
    Font - LeikOfForest 7 hr. ago What do you wanna bet she'd demand OP arrange for childcare for her because "I'm just so worn out!" Sincerely someone who has two small children and knows better than to expect this of anyone.
    via u/LeikOfForest
  • 13
    Font - Individual Pop_477 4 hr. ago I agree because she was busy for a 3 hour car ride but not too busy for a 9 hour flight? As soon as Hawaii was said all there business went away
    via u/Individual_Pop_477
  • 14
    Font - tinaciv 10 hr. ago I would die on this hill if I were OP. Go on the offensive from minute one and tell every single person I know about it. "Can you believe it?? My own sister told me she couldn't come to my wedding. It broke my heart but I kept telling myself that it was because she COULDN'T, not because I'm not important to her. And now that is a payed trip?? Oh, now she not only can spare even more time than for the original event, but has the gall to demand to be invited!!
    via u/tinaciv
  • 15
    Font - I feel the size of an ant. She truly couldn't care less about my wedding, right? Otherwise she would have made the effort the first time? How could she do this?? What type of person misses her sister's wedding??" Crying if you feel like it while telling other family members instead of holding it back. NTA of course. Good lesson for the niblings too, karma is a b ch.
    via u/tinaciv
  • 16
    Font - AliceinRealityland. 4 hr. ago Why would I want anything to do with a sibling who doesn't find my once in a life time wedding worth attending? Triple that sentiment when they act entitled and demand to be included in a week vacation trip I am paying for. Greedy, selfish, entitled people are a drain on one's mental well-being, and OP has every right to go no contact with someone who has shown twice OP couldn't matter less to them.
    via u/AliceinRealityland
  • 17
    Font - DoIwantToKnow6417 9 hr. ago Achole Enthusiast [5] Exactly. Your own sister couldn't make a three hour trip to celebrate your wedding for lack of time and the travelling was considered too long for the kids. And apparently the kids wouldn't have felt left out had they not attended the original wedding. She want to mooch a free family vacation. It's definitely not about your wedding.
    via u/DoIWantToKnow6417
  • 18
    Font - She can pay for it herself, and you can tell her that she can consider paying for her own family expenses her wedding present to you. NTA Have a wonderful wedding with the people who from the beginning really wanted to be there for you.
    via u/DoIWantToKnow6417
  • 19
    Font - lovebombme2u - 16 hr. ago Its the same time of year. Tell her If it was a bad time to celebrate in the country its still a bad time to celebrate in HI. ... or is she just interested in the trip?
    via u/lovebombme2
  • 20
    Font - Knighted Rose 13 hr. ago Happy cake day! This is exactly the right answer. Declining 3 hours of drive for 9 hours on the plane. AND SHE'S THE SISTER. I'd cross the other side of the world for my sister's wedding. NTA.
    via u/KnightRose
  • 21
    Font - Electronic Echo2788 · 7 hr. ago NTA! And isn't it great? I read this and laughed. Oh the beautiful Karma. Sister couldn't be bothered to be a little inconvenienced when it was a destination she didn't like but boy are her panties in a bunch now! OP, don't you dare change a single thing to accommodate that woman. I hope you have a spectacular wedding!
    via u/ElectronicEcho2788
  • 22
    Font - hellyeahletsgo2344 - 18 hr. ago Partassipant [4] NTA. She's just having a whinge because now she doesn't get a free trip to Hawaii. The fact that your own sister said she couldn't come to your wedding that was three hours away would be enough reason to not re-invite her.
    via u/hellyeahletsgo2344
  • 23
    Font - Helpful_Hour1984 - 12 hr. ago Partassipant [4] My thoughts exactly. 3 hours drive is nothing, I have travelled 10-12 hours for several friends' weddings (and friends have travelled to mine). The sister is so obviously about her intentions, it's embarrassing.
    via u/Helpful_Hours1984
  • 24
    Font - xistithogoth1 10 hr. ago . My family and i used to travel to san francisco from oc/la in a beat up old vw when I was a child with my younger sister lol. 3 hours is nothing. She was inconvenienced because of the first wedding but now that its in hawaii, of course she wants in.
    via u/xistithogoth1
  • 25
    Font - ashleighbuck - 18 hr. ago Certified Proctologist [25] So it doesn't make any sense to me for her to say she can go on a longer trip even farther away. Your wedding wasn't "enough" for her to go through the trouble for. Hawaii is, apparently. She just wants the free trip. NTA.
    via u/ashleighbuck

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family drama aita wedding drama destination wedding hawaii-wedding getting married Reddit
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